Even with the title of “Head of Department,” commanding the respect of an entire team isn't easy. Inevitably you'll have team members who question your authority—who answer your instructions with excuses, an endless stream of questions, or a blank stare.
This can be a challenge for anyone in a leadership position, especially for new Chief Stews who may still be learning the ropes of their roles.
To be a successful Chief, you must learn to communicate with authority—so that your team takes you seriously, respects your leadership, and follows your direction.
Try these simple steps if you want your team to respect and listen to you.
Build a Reputation
Are you complaining about the boss or other crew members over cocktails? Do you show up late to work? As a chief stew, you'll be looked at as a role model by your fellow stewardesses and crew in the vessel. You can't expect your team to give their best at work if they don't see you doing it, so be sure you are always on your A-game. This means:
Meeting deadlines.
Showing up on time.
Sticking to your word.
Keep your opinions under wraps and do your best to represent your department and vessel professionally.
Doing great work in the job is a step in the right direction toward winning the respect of your colleagues, but all that hard work can easily be overlooked if you do not mind your actions before and after you're on the clock.
Learn to listen
Listen actively to every member of your team. Set up individual meetings with your new or current members to understand their roles. Ask questions about what they like about their job, the most significant challenges they face, and any ideas they have for improving the interior team and vessel as a whole.
All team members are valuable; their diverse opinions will open you up to new ideas and help you see flaws and inconsistencies you were previously blind to.
Let your team know that you're open to listening on an ongoing basis. Whether having an open-door policy or scheduling "office hours" each day, ensure your stewardesses know when and how they can reach out to you.
Maintain Confidence as You Speak
This may seem like a no-brainer, but to convey authority, you must speak confidently. And this is not something that comes naturally to everyone.
For example, the beginning of your sentence may start just fine, but when you reach the end, you may raise your voice slightly, turning the thought into a question or quiet down, turning the last few words into a mumble.
Either way, you'll sound unsure of yourself—which won't inspire much confidence in the people you're talking to.
The key to doing anything well is doing it often; speech is no exception. Practice what you'll say beforehand—recording yourself or doing it in front of a mirror will help you understand how to improve your verbal communication and body language.
Consider your tone, body language, and direction
This is especially important when speaking to someone face-to-face. Remember what you're trying to accomplish and how you may come across when communicating. For example, if a stew misses something, you want that person to improve so the problem doesn't happen again; you don't want this employee only to feel guilty about the error. Setting your intention before the meeting is vital to ensure your energy will flow in the intended direction.
Body language can tell just as much as what a person says, if not more. Ensure your language is clear, and if you are angry, take a few minutes to cool down before speaking. Remember that it is better to meet in person when possible than to communicate through text or email.
Use Statements, Not Questions
Avoid phrasing your instructions like questions: “Jess, can you take over the Crew Mess duties today?”. On the surface, questions seem less aggressive than direct orders—but in reality, all they do is open you up to excuses. The better option is to state it directly (e.g., “Jess, I need you to take over the Crew Mess duties today. Thank you”), which asserts your authority and provides less room for pushback.
Give Clear Directives, Not Suggestions
As a new Chief Stew, you may need to toe the line between being strict enough to be respected yet laid back enough to be relatable. Often, that can result in your directives coming across more as a suggestion rather than firm instructions.
Too often, chief stews will say something like, “Jess, it'd be great if you could finish the inventories by tomorrow,” which implies that it's simply something she could choose to do rather than something you're directly asking her to do.
Instead, try: “Jess, please ensure the inventories are finished and printed by tomorrow at 5 pm.” Changing just a couple of words can make a big difference in how your request comes across. Now, instead of simply a request, you've given a clear directive.
Remember to be clear about the deadline. If not, it may not get done in the timeframe you assume it should. Confirming mutual understanding is a must to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Restate what you hear
Rephrasing what co-workers, captain, or even client's “guests,” say to you by repeating the important points shows you understand what you were told. It gives both parties a chance to clarify if there is any confusion, and by repeating it, you'll remember.
Keep Criticism constructive
When you manage others, you want them to do their best. Ensure your comments aren't emotionally charged and the person you're speaking with understands what you're trying to say when giving feedback. Provide positive reinforcement when a job is well-done, and find ways to add tips for improvement without being negative.
Remember, feedback is a two-way street. Your team members want to know how they're doing and want to tell you how you are doing at your job. Having seasonal performance reviews will support you in achieving this.
Inside the MKSB Human Resources Bundle, you will find digital and editable performance review templates, team-building exercises, recruitment guidelines, seafarer rights information, an onboarding checklist, and more to aid you in your leadership role. Download the MKSB; Click here.
Becoming a successful leader takes time, a lot of patience, and self-development. And the truth is to achieve leadership success, support is crucial. Investing in myself and my career was the best thing I did. If you are ready to heighten and develop your natural leadership skills quickly, check out the YM self-leadership mini-course; Click here.
